[BJEmail] Prestraining scientists

A new bill providing added protection for everyone from federal scientists to contractors who speak out against intimidation, waste, or fraud, has passed in the House 331 – 94. Guess which party reportedly cast all 94 nays? Here’s a hint:

The White House opposes the legislation, and in a strongly worded statement Tuesday, argued the bill’s passage would “compromise national security.” The statement also said the measure is unconstitutional. “Rather than promote and protect genuine disclosures of matters of real public concern, it would likely increase the number of frivolous complaints and waste resources,” the administration stated.

If you know of any science shenanigans, report them to Rep. Brad Miller, head of the recently formed subcommittee created to investigate such allegations, at NC13.ScienceIntegrity[at]mail.house.gov, or you can send an anonymous tip at this link.

  • It’s probably not a warm comfort for those of you digging out in the Northeast this morning, but the earth has just experienced the warmest December-February since records began in 1880.
  • Phil Plait from Bad Astronomy explains the basic science behind Dark Matter detection and imaging with this informative essay.
  • The American Meteorological Society will host a talk on marine fisheries this Monday in DC. Details here.

[BJEmail] Dogs

DOGS…what is it about dogs? 

The reason a dog has so many friends
is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
-Anonymous 

Don’t accept your dog’s admiration
as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
-Ann Landers 

If there are no dogs in Heaven,
then when I die I want to go where they went.
-Will Rogers 

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben Williams 

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
-Josh Billings 

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
-Andy Rooney 

We give dogs time we can spare,
space we can spare and love we can spare.
And in return, dogs give us their all.
It’s the best deal man has ever made.
-M. Acklam 

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies,
quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love
and always have to mix love and hate.
-Sigmund Freud 

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
-Rita Rudner 

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance,
and to turn around three times before lying down.
-Robert Benchley 

Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
-Franklin P. Jones 

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
-James Thurber 

If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise.
-Unknown 

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can.
That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.
-Joe Weinstein 

Ever consider what our dogs must think of us?
I mean, here we come from a grocery with the most amazing haul,
chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!
-Anne Tyler 

Women and cats will do as they please,
and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein 

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you;
that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
-Mark Twain 

You can say any foolish thing to a dog,
and the dog will give you a look that says,
‘Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’
– Dave Barry 

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
-Roger Caras 

If you think dogs can’t count,
try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket
and then give him only two of them.
-Phil Pastoret 

My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am.

[BJEmail] The President

Air Force One arrives at Heathrow and President Bush strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen. They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They continue on towards Buckingham Palace waving to the thousands of  cheering Britons; all is going well.

Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth-shattering fart ever heard in the  British Empire . The smell is atrocious!  Both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs over their noses.  The fart shakes the coach but the two dignitaries of state do their best to ignore the
incident.

The Queen turns to President Bush, “Mr. President, please accept my regrets.  I am sure you understand there are some things that even a queen cannot control.”

George Bush, always trying to be presidential, replied, “Y our Majesty, do not give the matter another thought.  Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses.”

[BJEmail] Fwd: Legislative Update: HB 603 To Be Heard On Senate Floor Thursday!

[]  
 

Dear Brian Eckert,

Legislative Update

HB603: Domestic Partner Rights And Responsibilities Act Receives “Do Pass” From Senate Judiciary

 

Mimi Stewart (D - Bernalillo)By a vote of 5-1, HB603 passed out of Senate Judiciary last night.  Over 50 people showed up to support HB603.  The opposition only had about 8 people in the room. 

 

Rep. Mimi Stewart presented the bill.  Sen. Cisco McSorley, Chair of Senate Judiciary asked how many people were there to oppose the bill, and asked them if they wanted to testify.  One man, who most of the opposition seemed to believe was their best spokesperson, spoke in opposition.  His statement claimed that if they passed HB603, it would lead to people marrying children, relatives, and sheep.  The testimony was over. 

 

Sen. McSorley asked how many people were there to support the Bill.  Our 50+ people raised their hands, but offered no testimony.  The committee went immediately into the vote.  Voting in favor of HB603 were Senators McSorley, Grubesic, Martinez, M. Sanchez and Lopez.  Sen. Adair opposed the Bill.  Senators Rainaldi, Cravens, Harden and Payne were not in the room.

SUPPORT EQNM’S LEGISLATIVE EFFORTS BY MAKING A CONTRIBUTION TODAY

 

 

*HB603 Scheduled For Full Hearing On Senate Floor Tomorrow, Thursday, March 15th

HB603 will be heard tomorrow, March 15th on the Senate Floor.  This is our last hurdle.  If the Bill passes tomorrow, the Governor will sign it, and Domestic Partners will have rights in New Mexico.

 

We need to pack the Senate Gallery!  The Senators all need to see how many people are there to support this legislation. 

 

There is no way to predict when this Bill will be heard.  The Senate will go into session at 10:00 am, and will most likely remain in session all day and late into the night.  The Senate does not follow their agenda, so tomorrow will likely be a very long day. 

 

*This is currently the best information we have.  The Senate sets its calendar each day.  Please check your e-mail tonight and tomorrow morning to make sure that there have not been any changes.

 

YOUR HELP NEEDED!!

 

We have one more obstacle to overcome.  In an attempt to kill this legislation, it is likely that our opposition will try to amend this bill on the floor.  We cannot allow HB603 to be amended in any way. 

 

We have only one day left, so please , if you live in any of the targeted Senator’s Districts listed below, contact your Senator  by phone and by clicking the link below and ask them to support HB603 as is and to vote against any amendments which would change or delay this Bill.

 

Ben Altamirano (D - Catron, Grant, & Socorro) Sen. Ben Altamirano – 505.986.4733

 

 

Sue Wilson Beffort (R - Bernalillo, Sandoval, Santa Fe & TSen. Sue Wilson Beffort – 505.986-4395
 

 

 

Carlos Cisneros (D - Los Alamos, Rio Arriba, Santa Fe & TaSen. Carlos Cisneros – 505.986-4863

 

 

 Mary Jane Garcia (D - Dona Ana)

Sen. Mary Jane Garcia – 505.986.4726

 

 

 

Phil Griego (D - Los Alamos, Mora, Sandoval, San Miguel, SantaSen. Phil Griego – 505.986.4861

 

 

 Timothy Jennings (D - Chaves, Eddy, Lincoln, & Otero)

Sen. Timothy Jennings – 505.986.4362

 

 

 

Linda Lopez (D - Bernalillo) Sen. Linda Lopez – 505.986.4737

 

 

Lynda Lovejoy (D - Bernalillo, Cibola, McKinley, Rio Arriba, &Sen. Lynda Lovejoy – 505.986.4859

 

 

 

Richard Martinez (D - Los Alamos, Rio Arriba, & Santa Fe)Sen. Richard Martinez – 505.986.4389

 

 

Cynthia Nava (D - Dona Ana) Sen. Cynthia Nava – 505.986.4834

 

 

 

Mary Kay Papen (D - Dona Ana) Sen. Mary Kay Papen -505.986.4270

 

 

Lidio Rainaldi (D - Cibola & McKinley) Sen. Lidio Rainaldi – 505.986.4310

 

 

 

Shannon Robinson (D - Bernalillo) Sen. Shannon Robinson – 505.986.4856

 

 

Nancy Rodriguez (D - Santa Fe) Sen. Nancy Rodriguez -505.986.4264

 

 

 

John Ryan (R - Bernalillo) Sen. John Ryan – 505.986.4373

 

 

Bernadette Sanchez (D - Bernalillo) Sen. Bernadette Sanchez – 505.986.4267

 

 

 

Michael Sanchez (D - Valencia) Sen. Michael Sanchez – 505.986.4727

 

 

John Arthur Smith (D - Hidalgo, Luna & Sierra) Sen. John Arthur Smith – 505.986.4363

 

 

 

Diane Snyder (R - Bernalillo) Sen. Diane Snyder – 505.986.4375

 

 

James Taylor (D - Bernalillo) Sen. James Taylor – 505.986.4862

 

 

 

David Ulibarri (D - Cibola, Socorro & Valencia) NO PHOTO ASen. David Ulibarri – 505.986.4265

CLICK HERE TO TELL YOUR TARGETED SENATOR TO SUPPORT HB603 AND TO VOTE AGAINST ANY AMENDMENTS!

 

We are so close.  We are only one floor vote away.  We hope to see you tomorrow.  Your support has made the difference!

 

_________________________________

 

Equality New Mexico is fighting for full civil rights for ALL New Mexicans. Please help us continue the fight. Make a donation today at our secure website at www.eqnm.org or send a check to EQNM 1410 Coal Ave SW, Albuquerque, NM 87104.

This message was sent to brian_eckert@yahoo.com. Visit your subscription management page to modify your email communication preferences or update your personal profile. To stop ALL email from EQNM Action Center, click to remove yourself from our lists (or reply via email with “remove or unsubscribe” in the subject line).
 

1410 Coal Ave., SW    Albuquerque, NM 87104    505.224.2766
www.eqnm.org    info@eqnm.org

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[BJEmail] Princess joke

Once upon a time there lived a king.

The king had a beautiful daughter, The PRINCESS.

But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.

No matter what;
metal,
wood,
stone,

anything she touched would melt.

Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.

The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?

He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king,

“If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured.”

The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.

The next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king’s wealth.

THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.

The first brought a sword of the finest steel.

But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted.

The prince went away sadly.

The second prince brought diamonds.

He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted.

He too was sent away disappointed.
 

The third prince approached. He told the princess, “Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.”

The princess did as she was told, though she turned red.

She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.

And it did not melt!!!

The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.

And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.

Question: What was in the prince’s pants?
(Scroll down for the answer)

V

V

M&M’s of course.

They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
What were you thinking??

[BJEmail] HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR:

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR:

2029

 
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, form erly known as California .  White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language.
 
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
 
[DJ] This is my favorite…..haha Baby conceived naturally.  Scientists stumped.
 
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
 
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq,Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
 
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
 
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
 
Castro finally dies at age 112. Cuban cigars can now be imported legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
 
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
 
[DJ] Yikes! Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
 
85-year, $75.8 billion study:  Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
 
[DJ] WOAH! Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
 
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
 
[DJ] hahahaha Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
 
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
 
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
 
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
 
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
 
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
 
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

[BJEmail] Famous quotes and sayings by the Yankees Manager Yogi Berra

If you don’t know where you’re going, chances are you will end up somewhere else.It’s deja-vu all over again.

You should always go to other people’s funerals. Otherwise they won’t come to yours.

If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.

I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.

If you can’t imitate him, don’t copy him.

Never answer an anonymous letter.

90% of the game is half mental.

It’s never happened in the World Series history – and it hasn’t happened since.

If you don’t set goals, you can’t regret not reaching them.

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.

Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.

The future ain’t what it used to be.

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.

Pair up in threes.

I wish I had an answer to that, because I’m tired of answering that question.

You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn’t enough in the second half you give what’s left.

90% of short putts don’t go in.

We made too many wrong mistakes.

We’re lost, but we’re making great time!

If people don’t want to come to the ball park, how are you going to stop them?

It ain’t over till it’s over.

I knew exactly where it was, I just couldn’t find it.

The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces. I’m not hungry enough to eat eight.

I usually take a two hour nap, from one to four.

Steve McQueen looks good in this movie. He must have made it before he died.

It gets late early out there. (Referring to the sun conditions in left field at the stadium.)

It was hard to have a conversation with anyone – there were too many people talking.

You can observe a lot just by watching.

No, you didn’t wake me up. I had to get up to answer the phone anyway.

I really liked it. Even the music was good. (When asked if he liked the opera one evening.)

You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.

Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.

Shut up and talk.

Once, Yogi’s wife Carmen asked, “Yogi, you are from St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. If you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried?” To this, Yogi replied, “Surprise me.”

Carmen said “I took Tim to see Doctor Zhivago today.” Yogi replied, “What the hell’s wrong with him now?”

I didn’t say half the things I said.