be sure to watch the others listed on the right
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hEj8A3yAJE
Almost as good as Betty Bowers
Monthly Archives: March 2007
[BJEmail] “The Brutal Death of Our Savior” Cookies
“The Brutal Death of Our Savior” Cookies
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- Gals, I have just the thing to bring Jesus into every aspect of a child’s life — a cookie recipe that explains to children not only how Jesus rose from the dead — but also how disgusting & wretched He thinks your children are now that He’s alive again! — Betty
 You will need:
- 1cup whole pecans
- A gallon jug of very inexpensive vinegar
- 3 egg whites
- Lots of salt
- 1cup sugar
- Zipper baggie
- wooden spoon
- tape
- A KJV Bible (Do not substitute!)
- Have your domestic help (preferably one that speaks some form of English) preheat your custom-made stainless professional-quality oven to 300 degrees. (If you don’t have help, get some.)
- Place pecans in zipper baggie and let children beat them with the wooden spoon, screaming foul words of derision, to break pecans into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested, and before the Jews killed him, Roman soldiers beat Him just like they are beating those helpless pecans. Read John 19:1-3.
- Put 1 teaspoon of vinegar into mixing bowl. Let each child smell the inexpensive vinegar. Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross he was given vinegar to drink. If they dare to ask, “Well, why didn’t he just turn it into a nice chardonnay?” fill a tumbler with vinegar and say, “Here’s your chardonnay, you little smart aleck!” If they complain, ask them, “Do you as a sinful little nobody deserve better than Jesus?” Read John 19:28-30.
- Add egg whites to vinegar. Tell the children that white was the color of Jesus’ skin — and generally the best color to be (unless you are Mrs. Bowers’ shoes) when passing a police car. Explain that the meringue symbolizes the soft fluffy clouds in heaven that your children, as wretched sinners, have little chance of ever actually seeing. Read John 10:10-11.
- Sprinkle a little salt into each child’s hand. Make them eat it and brush the rest into the bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus’ followers, and the bitterness of the children’s disgusting sins. Remind them just how impure they are and how undeserving they are of His love – or your cookies! Read Luke 23:27.
- So far, the ingredients have not been very appetizing and the children may be feeling rather queasy. Add 1 cup sugar. Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that God loves us so much that He killed Himself for us. Don’t let them ask a lot of follow-up questions as, frankly, this overly dramatic suicide thing all gets a little hard to explain — just brandish the vinegar if things get tricky. Read Ps. 34:8 and John 3:16.
- Beat with a mixer on high speed and fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper covered cookie sheet. Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus’ body was laid. Remind them that if Jesus was buried in a hole, they as vile sinners deserve to be thrown out into the road to be pecked to death by crows and run over by Minivans. Read Matt. 27:57-60.
- Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF.
- Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door. Explain that Jesus’s tomb was sealed, cutting off His last bit of oxygen so that He would have quickly suffocated. Like the Jews, they too are now responsible for killing Jesus. Tell them, “You just killed the Lord! I hope you’re satisfied!”  Read Matt. 27:65-66.
- Send your children to bed, telling them they will be sad to be without the cookies, just as a handful of people in the Bible seemed to be a tad gloomy over being without Jesus, although most of His followers seemed rather nonchalant about the whole thing, apparently having previous engagements more important than attending His crucifixion.
- After about an hour, uncork a lovely, unassuming wine and open the oven. The cookies are wonderful with a flinty chardonnay. Verily, you won’t stop until you’ve had them all. Glory!
- When your children come downstairs in the morning, they will discover that the oven door has been ripped open and all of the cookies have disappeared. Remind them that this is exactly what happened when Jesus’ followers returned to the tomb and found Him gone – only, after three days, that tomb probably didn’t smell as fragrant as your $3,000 oven.
- If your spoiled children cry because they didn’t get any of the delicious cookies, simply remind them that they are worthless sinner who deserve to be tortured in Hell and since their sins killed Jesus, they don’t deserve treats.   Read Luke 14:26
[BJEmail] Late-Night Political Jokes for Dems
“While in Latin America, Bush visited the ancient Mayan ruins. He
then invited their officials to come visit our ruins — the Walter
Reed Medical Center.” –Jay Leno
“Outrage today from many Americans, especially the gay ones, over
comments made by General Peter Pace, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs
of Staff. He said he believes homosexuality is immoral. The general
went on to say that allowing immorality in the armed forces could
distract our troops from killing.”
–Jimmy Kimmel
“Rudy Giuliani has defended Newt Gingrich, saying it’s okay Newt had
an affair and that no one is perfect. That’s when you know the
Republicans are in trouble — when a guy with three marriages and an
affair is defending the guy with three marriages and two affairs, so
they can team up and beat a Clinton.” –Jay Leno
“You see all those people protesting while President Bush was in
South America? Bush hasn’t heard that many people shouting ‘Gringo go
home’ since his last trip to L.A.” –Jay Leno
“Thirty towns in Vermont have voted to impeach President Bush, butÂ
Bush says he doesn’t care what a bunch of Canadians think.”
–Jay Leno
“Nebraska Senator Chuck Hagel — he’s a Republican
— called a press
conference to announce he’ll be making a decision about running for
president sometime later in the year. So, he called a press conference
to say maybe later in the year he’s going to say something important.
This is the kind of bold, decisive leadership this country needs.”
–Jay Leno
“People are saying Scooter Libby is taking the fall for Cheney.
Personally, I think Libby got off easy — usually when you take one
for Cheney, it’s a shot in the face” –Jay Leno
“Beautiful, beautiful day in New York City. … It was so nice thatÂ
Ann Coulter was insulting gays in the park.” –David Letterman
“After visiting Guatemala, Bush flew to Mexico.
There was an awkward moment
when Bush greeted the Mexicans by saying, ‘Hello future
Californians.'”
–Conan O’Brien
“Scooter Libby was found guilt of perjury, obstruction, and making
false statements — or, as the White House calls it, a press
conference.” –Bill Maher
“The president is … on a five-nation tour of Latin America. A lot
of people are saying while he’s below the border, what a great time
to build that wall.” –Bill Maher
“To give you an idea of how popular Bush is not …
in South America, he’s
going to visit on Monday the sacred Mayan ruins, and after he leaves
the Mayan priests are going to perform a purification ceremony … to
get rid of the bad spirits. … And if it works there, they’re going
to try it in Iraq, New Orleans, Guantanamo Bay, Ground Zero and the
atmosphere of the planet Earth.”
–Bill Maher
“While he was there, Bush did an interview with the Brazilian press
and he said the most difficult decision a president could ever make
is sending troops into harm’s way. But enough about Walter Reed.”
–Bill Maher
“Obviously, this has come at a bad time for the White House. Usually,
you want the conviction of a high-ranking official and the
veterans-sleeping-in-moldy-rat-holes stories on different days.” –Jon
Stewart
[BJEmail] Chris Rock video
[BJEmail] Katrina Video
wonderful … but it misses the wonderful W floating in a bubble into the middle of the Quarter, only to give a bad speech, promise any & everything, and disappear like the cowardly a**hole he is
-dd
- This is unbelieveable……but true
- Â
- Â
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- Â
- www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSrI1EU8obo
[Community-news] OLPC News (2007-03-17)
1. Stable build: After a final few bugs that had hidden in corners
were driven into the light, we issued Stable Build 303 along with
Q2B76 firmware this week. Highlights of this stable build include:
(a) a working mesh network;
(b) an updated web browser that scales on our high-resolution screen,
making for improved web experience;
(c) Gnash-the FOSS Flash player (still somewhat
unstable)-pre-installed; Adobe’s Flash 9 is also known to work, but
not packaged or installed as part of the build;
(d) a touch-pad driver fix for jumping cursor: the touch pad should be
more usable, and the tablet is enabled on B2 systems; and
(e) boot time has improved due to a scheduler fix.
Please read the release notes, which are found in the wiki at
wiki.laptop.org/go/OLPC_Software_Release_Notes
2. Activities: There are some new activities in the new build:
* Blockparty (aka Tetris) was written by Vadim Gerasimov and John
Palmieri;
* Slideshow was written by Erik Blankinship and Marco Gritti; and
* Journal “Preview” (a first pass at the journal activity) was written
by Marco and Tomeu Vizoso.
3. Community: Mauro Torres and the team from the Tuquito Project in
Argentina have put together a calculator activity that will appear in
soon in our builds. They are working on a extensions that will let the
children explore their calculations in notational form as well as get
the “answer.”
4. Kernel: While Andres Salomon was working on the new stable release,
he found (and fixed) a build-system bug/interaction that was keeping
fixes from hitting the stable kernel builds.
5. Richard Smith and John Watlington modified some B2 machines to ship
out to suspend/resume developers; these mods fix some known hardware
problems that only affect suspend/resume.
6. Q2B76: This firmware release should have a temporary work-around
for the problem that has been costing us about 1/3 of our system’s
performance whenever a network interface was alive on USB (either our
wireless or ethernet).
7. Mitch Bradley continued improvements to the suspend/resume code:
* time-to-resume is now down to 12 mS, except for the CAFE;
* reinit is working well; he can suspend/resume reliably without a
serial port;
* suspend/resume is now working on B1 in addition to B2;
* the suspend routine is now independent of the virtual address from
which it is called.
Mitch also integrated Lilian Walter’s first cut at self-test
diagnostics into the experimental firmware.
8. Community II: William Cohen reported a major coup: he got the
system-level performance tool “oprofile” running on the Geode, and
immediately started posting very helpful performance data. We have
wanted this tool for quite a while, and have not had the time to do it
ourselves. Our great thanks to Bill.
9. Trac: The bug-tracking system has passed several milestones: more
than 1000 bugs reported and more than 250 people registered. Â Our
community is growing quickly (See dev.laptop.org).
10. Mesh status: Michail Bletsas and teams from Cozybit and Marvell
spent the past week doing intense debugging on the mesh firmware.
There were two serious bugs uncovered: mesh routing was erratic in
noisy environments (e.g., OLPC’s Cambridge office) and there was data
corruption observed during large file transfers. The first problem was
solved by allowing route request and reply frames to be sent at rates
as low as 1Mbps. The data corruption issue was tracked to MTUs (frame
sizes) larger than 1494 bytes. Firmware addressing the first issue was
released early this week and a fix for the second will be incorporated
in next week’s firmware build. (In the meantime, people should set the
MTU of msh0 to 1494 if they want to utilize the mesh interface). In
parallel a variety of driver issues were addressed and should be
pulled into the XO build next week, at which point the mesh substrate
will be fully functional.
11. Fun and games: Chris “sugarized” a game called Kye
(games.moria.org.uk/kye/pygtk) and posted the bundle to the
Sugar mailing list.
-walter
—
Walter Bender
One Laptop per Child
laptop.org
Walter Bender
One Laptop per Child
laptop.org
[BJEmail] Safe Sex
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[joke] two planets
2007 HP US Microenterprise Development Program
HP is now offering grants of HP mobile technology and cash to microenterprise development agencies and programs located in the US, including Puerto Rico, through its 2007 HP US Microenterprise Development Program. Up to 40 grants, each valued at $56,000, will be awarded to nonprofit organizations and higher education institutions that provide start-up assistance, business training, access to capital, and advice to entrepreneurs and very small businesses in low-income communities.
The deadline for submitting an application for a grant under the 2007 HP US Microenterprise Development Program is Tuesday, June 5, 2007, 5 p.m. Pacific time.Â
www.hp.com/go/hpmicroenterprise