HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR:
Â
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, form erly known as California . White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia’s third language.
Â
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Â
[DJ] This is my favorite…..haha Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Â
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Â
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq,Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
Â
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
Â
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
Â
Castro finally dies at age 112. Cuban cigars can now be imported legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
Â
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Â
[DJ] Yikes! Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
Â
85-year, $75.8 billion study:Â Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
Â
[DJ] WOAH! Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Â
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Â
[DJ] hahahaha Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Â
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Â
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
Â
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Â
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
Â
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Â
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.